I started this Friday night (November 22, 2013), and didn't finish because I am so used to a full keyboard and trying to type on my phone is ridiculous. Haha, I am spoiled with my keyboard. I have been adding to this post and taking away, trying to make sure that what I am trying to say comes out that way.
Between that Friday, and to yesterday and today I have learned a couple of life lessons. One is that when you fear things, it, fear, grabs a hold of you and smothers you. You have to face your fears in order to grow and live your life fully. It's kind of like love. You use that love, give it freely, and yeah, you get burned but that is okay. And 2nd, would you not rather love and be loved and experience all that comes with it?
I know that some will say getting burned is not ok, but, I have found out, that when you do get burned with love, it hurts, really really hurts, like getting sucker punched or falling off a horse and getting the wind knocked out of you. You do get your breath back, you do get up a little bruised, sometimes a little gun shy (or a lot) but you do get better. You never forget, but you can move on.
I realize that some fears are justified in how we feel, but there are others that we have made in our minds, that have grown to be exaggerated in our perceptions of them. I have alot of physical fears, falling or being bucked off my horse. Getting in a car accident, or any accident, but those I deal with easily most of the time. I have a fear of heights, haha, and I am working on that. Water, the dark, I have determined I am a sissy.
But I am able to deal alot with these, work my way through them. Some of them started when I was little, maybe from pranks from older siblings, scary stories, movies or stuff that my imagination started and got a little out of control. Some, I am not sure how they started, but I am searching myself for these beginnings, and I have found a lot of them that have become a part of me. In finding these, I have started correcting the thought patterns, the self destructive pattern that holds on for all it can. Doubts, insecurities, lack of confidence in doing things that I always have wanted, being able to stand up for myself. I am someone.
Then, I have found out that when you let your emotions get in the middle of these, they can skyrocket out of control as well.
Fear takes a hold of your mind and causes you to be trapped and lose control of your life and your passions of what you would like to accomplish. Fear shackles you and restrains how you live. Fear cripples your ability to function and keeps you in doubt of your ability to do much of anything or causes you to doubt those you love and that love you.
Lack of love causes you to hide inside, not allowing true honest healthy emotions to surface. Its okay to cry, to laugh, to be silly, to be angry or hurt. Lack of loving also helps to fuel the bitterness that makes life so full of despair and leads to hatred, which in the end will make you die inside. Love fills you with hope, faith, kindness. It fills you with laughter and tears. Its healthy, its awesome.
And then that brings me to trust, and how both of these directly affect your ability to trust. Trust is earned. Trust is broken easily, and so hard to build back up. But if you are able to squash those fears that run on emotions and prior events in your life, and if you are able to allow yourself to love wholly and completely, and not let those fears get in the way, your life becomes so much more whole. I am not saying that it just happens and is easy, its a learning battle for your self, for your health, physically, mentally and spiritually. But as it moves forward, its such a great feeling.
I read some things about this, and one of them was from an author whom died in 1928, he wrote some interesting articles, some that I have looked up. His name is Frank Crane. I read an article in my Readers Digest that he wrote "10 Rooms that Should Be in the House of Life". The fifth room really opened my eyes, as all of the rooms caused me to consider the meanings of what he wrote and how I have lived my life.
The other houses are really neat, art, music, letters, outdoors, children, sports, food, religion and work. . As I read about it I realized how much I have held myself back in love, in just doing what I like to do and worrying about others and what they think. I also learned how much I let so many fears hold me back, and usually they are of the unknown. Well, none of us are ever going to know what tomorrow brings, we only know what yesterday gave us. That's it.
We can live right now, fully and completely, giving it as much as we can, and just by simply stepping out of the boundaries we have unknowingly set up for ourselves to keep us safe and from being hurt, we can experience more love and a more fulfilling life. I have set myself up to fail in the past, now I have set myself up to succeed, to have a life filled with success and abundance. I also will share that alot of what I have learned is through scriptures, and realizing that when applied, it changes your life. I pray all the time, and ask our wonderful God to help me learn and reach inside to find my way. He does help me. I have learned to have so much hope, faith, love and patience in my life, and I will continue on my journey.
LOVE!!@ LIVE!!@ ENJOY!!
Don't stay crippled. Let you be you and bloom like a flower and enjoy your sweet lives.
Love ya :)
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