Lessons, lessons and more lessons on life. :)

Life is so full of surprises, all the time, there is something that happens, whether good or bad, it happens. Sometimes it can be so subtle that you don't really notice until another happening highlites it.

I learned another lesson yesterday, just visiting with a friend. Talking a little about the things that we have always talked about. Yesterday, he brought up accountability and responsibility in our lives. He also talked about our fears in life.

He said our fears are like rocks on a trail. And we carry those fears in a backpack. As we climb a mountain or hill, we see a fear and look at it and stuff it in our backpack. As we go on our backpack gets heavier and heavier, weighting us down. Pretty soon our backpack is so heavy, that we are unable to move forward.

The way to get rid of these weights on our shoulder is to be able to look at each fear, confront it, understand why we fear it, and instead of trying to put more rocks in the backpack, appreciate what we have learned and set the rock back down. When we are capable of that, then we can start picking through the backpack, picking out rocks, examine them and set them back on the ground, lightening our load, and letting ourselves become free of the emotional weight and connections to these numerous fears that we make in our minds.

It was an interesting take on this, and I was so very appreciative of what he said, and how he explained this. I know that today, I still have a lot of fears in my head that I deal with, and when something flares up, I have learned to evaluate it, to understand if it is from today or really from an event that has happened in my life prior to anything that has to do with today. If it truly is from today, then I work through it, if it is from yesterday yesteryear, then I look at it and then toss it. It made sense to me, another way of ridding myself of unnecessary baggage in my life

Whether these fears are real or perceived to be real, most of the time the actual events that started them are very faint or have become or are becoming vague in our minds. ( I have found this to be my case) Most of my fears were played on in my mind, portraying me as a victim and feeding the fire to keep it burning. The wrong kind of fire.

I now feed a fire that fuels good thoughts and healthy thoughts. I encourage myself to look at my fears and memories, take any good I can, evaluate the bad, know that its there, and let it go, move past it, and continue on my life journey. I have decided I don't have time to sulk, feel sorry for myself or wait for the pity wagon to come and get me. I don't want to live that way.

I have too much to contribute.

He also talked about responsibility and accountability to his self on his actions and what they did in his life. He realized after his wife did drugs, had affairs and such, that it was his fault as much as hers. He realized that he forced upon his family a life of terrorism, in his words, very controlling and intimidating, but he was also on the road a lot, working, and never was there for his family. He isolated his self physically, emotionally from his wife and family. When he was there he instilled terror in them with his actions, a very hard person to live with, again in his words.

When he realized that he contributed to the downfall of his marriage, his life, losing all that he was trying to maintain, he said it was a huge change in the way that he looked at everything. He told me that when you accept responsibility for your actions, it changes you from being a victim, from being the person that is always trying to put blame on someone else for your actions and the events that happened in your life, to a person that then can actually stand on their own.

Kind of like if you step on someones toes, and they get upset because you hurt their toes, and you then retaliate for their actions against you, well, you stepped on their toes. Be responsible for what you have done in your life, be accountable for it.

I knew this, but this just reaffirms it again, in my head, to know that just because someone gets bent out of shape, maybe before I retaliate, maybe I should take a look at me and what I have done. Intentionally or unintentionally, we cause things to happen.

He shares his story on the belief that if you can share it with someone that is hurting and in need of help, but unable to ask for that help or afraid of, just knowing that someone has been through hell and back, can make a difference in those lives.

Life is really full of surprises, lessons, and beauty. The ugly in life perhaps is caused by us without us trying to make it any better. Well, today, baby steps as my brother tells me, baby steps to a better life with my family and friends.

I love my life today, and try to enjoy each moment, for I know that it is precious. I love my family and my friends, all of you.

Have a wonderful weekend, thank God for your blessings, and know that you are loved.
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Reflections

I took this picture coming home last week and thought the colors were beautiful. I didn't realize until afterward that I had a reflection on the truck hood. almost as good as water.

Brilliant colors, gorgeous clouds! 

Looking back, I realize so many events in my life, and how they have affected me, good or bad, and how I have come through them, growing, changing, loving me all the more, realizing that I have so many gifts that have been given to me. 

Gifts of love, happiness, content, abundance, success and so many more. We don't have to go far in finding these gifts, they are all around us, and if a person will open their eyes to what they do have, rather than what they do not have, that person will be so much more happy in his or her life. We don't need too much to be happy, at least for me I have realized this. I am leaning, and have been leaning this way for some time, simpler is better than too much and complication.

Have a wonderful weekend, looking forward to getting a bunch done. Love you. 

Why do we do the things that we do?

Our journeys will never be complete until the day we pass from this mortal life onto another one closer to the One that has put us here, our Lord.

Jonny's girlfriend is on a mission in Ireland/Scottland. She wrote this to me. It came so close to home for me in another understanding of my life that I have to share her question/ and what they asked the missionaries to consider and do.


"At the All Ireland Conference we had a lot of good insight but something that struck me is the WHY? question. Why do we do the things we do?? As missionaries there is loads of little things we need to and the question we need to ask ourselves is why? There are three reasons people do things. 1. Fear 2. Obligation/Duty 3. Love. Something they committed us to do is to notice why we do things and if it is for reason 1 or 2 to work on it and figure out how to make it reason 3. "

I responded to her email with this. 

"The WHY? question is really something that if everyone would consider, it might bring alot of peace and healing to us all. 

Fear    Obligation/Duty   Love

Fear, When we are afraid, it hinders us so much. It puts blinders on us so that we don't necessarily see or hear the truth. It binds us up, and it starts to make us die. Fear is so powerful if you let it get its hold on you. It can cause bitterness, hate, anger, and when you hold it inside it eats you alive. When you can face these fears one at a time, and start understanding the why here, you can start overcoming each of them. It makes you lift your heart and sing, it brings peace and helps you with better judgement and understanding of all of those around you that are hurting and sick, and I mean spiritually. I have learned this.

Obligation/Duty, this also hinders us in our judgement calls. This can build up so much animosity, grudges, frustrations. It gets you so that you put yourself last in such a way that you wait on everyone else because "its what you are supposed to do". Now, I understand about giving, sharing, but when you give freely, it makes it so much easier to accept something going. When it's because you feel you have to, it digs at you a little, and over time it grows into resentment. 

Love, well, when you really begin to understand the power of love, and feel its work inside you, and how it makes you feel over and over, you realize that when you do something, it just makes it all that easier to do, share. And you do it so freely. Love frees you, just like forgiveness. It allows you to see who is hurting, who is needing help, who is happy, so many things. It allows you to soar, and to understand why people are like they are. It allows you to open your heart, your soul, and to give so freely that it is amazing. Hard to put into words. 

I have just embarked on this journey, and the opening of my heart, no matter the pain I may suffer, I am loving more freely, and sharing slowly, this journey. I cried a bunch yesterday with a friend, here at work. I felt so much pain and hurt in her. Its crazy, it hurts me, but yet, I know the time we spent together visiting, it helped her. I think she is a special woman, and I keep her close to me. I am guarding my heart with the Lord and the Spirit close to me, but allowing myself to love and share more.

This why, it is such a good question to have been asked."

She is such an amazing young women, and I am so happy and proud to have her in my life, I am learning from her. 

I just had to share this, as it is something that is so  important for us all to learn in our lives I think. My opinion, my thoughts, for what its worth. 

Have a wonderful weekend! Love all of you. :)