Positive from Struggles

In years past I have struggled with ups and downs, and have learned to finally realize and know what is really important to me, in my life. I have also learned to boost my feelings of gratitude, of love, of being me, and understanding that I can only fix so much around me.

I have a grandiose idea of taking what is around me and rebuilding it, fixing the cracks on the foundations, and stabilizing the walls that have been made. I want to take the ceiling down so that it will be limitless, and have coverings that will still protect us, but let us experience reality.

I know that I can do this for me, but not for my family or friends. I have learned that we all are hiding, we all have things that we wish that maybe we hadn't done, or maybe had turned out different. We have fears, panic, sadness, happiness, anger, madness, craziness and sometimes hatred and rage.

To know how to use each one in a healthy way, short of hatred and rage, is very liberating. And realizing that the hatred and rage that sometimes is there, can be curbed as well as healed when we look at why. Why, What, When, How.

My grandpa told my brother once that if you are sick, one of two things will happen. You either get better or worse. If you get better, one of two things will happen, you get even better or worse. This can go on forever, but when you really think about it, this is what happens.

If you are going for a job interview, you will be hired or not hired. If you knock on doors to find out if that cute little camp trailer in back (or truck) is for sale, they will either say yes or no. ( I have knocked on doors). Life is very complicated and very simple. We can choose to make it either way, and live in doom, fear, anxiety or in peace with joy and comfort of knowing we will be ok no matter the way things play out.

Crying, complaining, being angry or sad, lamenting for what could be or could have been, wanting the "Good ole days" back, none of this is productive in any way to push forward to all we are capable of being. It's in our head. We can be productive, accomplished, and move forward, even baby steps at a time, but knowing that the majority of the time, we are our worst enemy. We want to blame someone else for our mishaps, but it is us that is ultimately to blame for the decisions that we make, our choices. Sure, you can say "He/she talked me into it" but, YOU made that choice to do what you did. No one else. Be accountable for your actions. Be responsible for your choices. Be honest with your self.

Let what is gone, be gone, embrace each living moment, and let tomorrow come when it is ready. And don't put a ceiling on your ability to do. Change your mind to know that you can accomplish what you set out to do. I find myself constantly telling my self " You cant do that" only to know that yes I can.

The words were written in the clouds.
LIVE