I know that I have written about forgiveness several times, and I know that some will say, yeah, but, it was still wrong, why do I have to forgive, shouldn't they be asking for forgiveness? Shouldn't they be saying I am so sorry for what I have done?
So that does seem to be the logical thing to do, wait. And wait. And wait. And wait some more. For what? For time to continue to go by, with some of the offenders passing on, some of them moving away, some of them not really realizing the offenses done, some of them hurting so bad inside for what they have done, that it is making them sick, and wishing that they could just die, or that the person they offended would just forgive them.
What if we waited for some one to feed us everyday? What if we waited for someone to tell us it was ok to go to bed, or go the store, we could be waiting forever, especially if that person didn't recognize the importance of it to us, of the impact that it could make on us. But, for most, it has become a dim memory, something that they don't linger on anymore. They have moved on. But we continue to hold onto that anger, hurt, pain, memories that haunt us everyday, making us bitter, unhappy, feeling coldness to that person.
I know that there are offenses that are life shattering, heart wrenching, devastating to our innermost persons, that create such turmoil that we are left shaking, trembling, nauseous, and just filled sometimes with hatred, anger, and revenge. Sometimes, those offenses, we will never get over, but we have to try, to try some way to make some kind of good out of it.
I also understand people that will say, how can you ever forgive them for what they have done? I don't know all the answers, I just know what has worked for me, and how it has changed my life for the better.
Each one of us has a self defense in us, that causes us all to react differently to every situation that we are faced with, regardless of good or bad. And how we react is up to us. Now, yes, I do realize that sometimes those things that happen can never be undone, never be taken back, and I pray that it doesn't have to happen ever again, but we need to dig deep.
Deeper than ever before, to try to let go of the anger, the bitterness, this does not mean that you are ever ok with what happened, but, if you can release this past offense, do you think that you could be happy? Or at lease be at peace in your soul, your spirit? Wouldn't that be worth it, and know that it is affecting your livelihood, that this could be a change in everything in your life?
I am just as guilty, but have made leaps and bounds to turn loose of past offenses against me, big or little, trivial or gut wrenching, offenders alive or that have passed. It has not been an easy journey, but for me it has been well worth it.
For me, forgiving was the only way I could do this, and this I learned after a life changing event in my life. It was really difficult, but one day at a time, I learned to say "I forgive you" in my heart. It was very difficult to say names, and with the flood of memories that came with it, it was awful. I decided to write down things that had happened, and then write down that I forgave that person, I prayed and then burned the papers.
It was such and uplifting feeling, weight off my shoulders. I continued, day after day, forgiving, always fighting to put names on the forgiving list in my prayer of forgiveness, it was always difficult. I prayed doing this, over and over, and one day I just broke down and weeped, I had the most amazing feeling come over me and I realized that I truly had forgiven those offenders.
I have shared this with many people, and I know that I still have a long way to go in forgiving more people, and letting go of more hurts. But I know that I can do this, I have the strength to do so.
Don't shackle yourself forever, don't let these wrongs make you a captive.
As the sun comes up everyday again, I try to and do forgive again everyday, it has helped to renew my life constantly.
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